Oatmeal for breakfast

For a large portion of my adult life, I'd always thought of oatmeal (or 'porridge' as I knew it growing up) as a breakfast food for children. It is one of the first solid foods given to babies, and the little ones get it while they're still at home. We got to eat grown up food (toast with butter or jam) once we'd started going to school.

That was until I started seeing someone who had a love affair with oatmeal. She would eat it for breakfast, brunch, and sometimes dinner. It was amazing to watch her cook it. She never followed directions: instead of cooking it for 30 minutes as specified, she would soak the grain overnight and once it started cooking, it was done in about 10 minutes. Made breakfasts a snap.

Of course, by this time, my definition of grown up food had expanded to include pancakes, leftover naan from the Indian place, muffins, and sometimes, cold pizza. Whatever ended up on my plate, for a long time it was not oatmeal.

I don't remember what persuaded me to try it. It may have been a particularly amorous kiss at the breakfast table that led to other things, amongst which included licking warm oatmeal off her erogenous zones. Almost like naked sushi, but with oatmeal and rated XXX. We had the kitchen blinds down, I think, since none of the neighbours complained.

Well, once I'd tried it, there was no turning back. Now I have oatmeal for breakfast. But I draw the line at brunch and dinner.

I am a little bit of a purist though: I still insist on making oatmeal the old fashioned way - none of this 'soaking overnight' business. I do experiment with adding honey, sliced bananas, blueberries, chopped pecans, dried cranberries... It's a lot of fun. I think I would miss oatmeal if I didn't get to have it when I choose. Strange really - I don't miss the girlfriend, but I would miss oatmeal. Must have been the sex.


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